No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
