the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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