so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
