I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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