Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
