I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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