it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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