I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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