the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
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Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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