Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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