mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize