Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
