dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
