If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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