found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I didn't notice because vodka
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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