if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
