What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
