Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize