i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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