I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
These tits shall not be calmed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
