is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
