hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
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