who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
