Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
wow bdsm is so cute
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
