i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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