1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
