The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he wants to bone in the snuggie
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize