So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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