Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
