I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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