My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I skipped work to stalk him.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
then he tried to convert me to islam
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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