Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
