I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
