I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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