The maid of honor just puked.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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