Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize