Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just tell him i said nine months
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
