Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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