Ambien. No doubt about it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
