Plan B is the new Plan A
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
