**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
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