Sponge bath it is.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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