I need help removing her.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
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So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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