Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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