I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
In America we eat man semen.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
