I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
