you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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