No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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