he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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