She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
