Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
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We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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