I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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